My Quest For the Village

Last summer, I had a horrible experience.  I was emotionally and physically running on empty.  I was distracted by all the things I had going on.  And I made a big mistake.  It was completely inadvertent, but it was made.  Where a helpful hand could have solved the problem, I met severe judgment.  Did I deserve it? Probably, partially, but if I had been given the benefit of the doubt, things would have turned out a lot differently.

I was thinking about this experience and the poisonous vitriol coming from the mouth of my accuser.  I wished that we lived in a time when people extended a hand to someone in need.  A time when people were given the benefit of the doubt and we were more concerned about taking care of others than pointing out their mistakes and heaping persecution on them.  I was wishing for that village - you know, the one that is needed to raise a child.

So I went looking for it and, self-righteously making it myself. And not so self-righteously I realized that if I wanted a village like that, I really did need to take action. Was I acting the part of a villager?  The unfortunate answer was, not as often as I should.  That had to change.  Just like that Ghandi quote: "Be the change you want to see in the world," I started my feable efforts to look outside myself and help those around me.  What I saw was both humbling and inspiriing.  Patrons at grocery stores took carts back for overloaded mothers and elderly shoppers.  Appliances were donated to a needy family, even though the givers had plenty of their own needs.  Hours of service were given cheerfully and eagerly to neighbors. I saw first hand, service being given to the deaf and the disabled.  I saw shoulders extended to the grieving, meals brought to the sick, help given to the weary, and compassion extended to the downtrodden.   I saw love.   And plenty of care was given to my own family.  We are surrounded by people who love and care about us.

That's when I realized the village was there all along.  I was walking through it every day and not taking full stock of it.  Our community is full of those looking to help those around them. There are, of course, some who aren't exactly kind.  Some will continually choose to not be part of the village.  They will choose to judge and withhold love and kindness.  They will choose to be in the general vicinity of the village but not a part of it.  They don't have the responsibility or the blessings.  They choose to be vagrants.  Because, in this village, we can choose to be actively engaged in the society or detractors from it.  So, what about me?  Am I choosing today to be a villager or a vagrant?

I want the answer to that question to always be "yes!"  I'm not very good at it, but I am trying!

I am trying to be patient.  I'm trying to respond with kindness to those with whom I come in contact.  I'm trying to do those little things day by day. 

I have also been thinking about getting involved in a bigger way.  I have been thinking this for months, and finally I had enough nudges and took action.  One resource that is such a help to this newbie villager is justserve.org  It is fantastic!  It has dozens of service opportunities for all ages here in our own community.  It is run by amazing people and connects all of us who are trying to be villagers to try to grow our community and make sure everyone is cared for.  I was able to go this last Tuesday, with all six kids, to pack backpacks for Project Backpack.  I was so humbled by all the people who give so much more than my meager hour and a half to help those in need.  These are the people I want to surround myself with. Maybe they will rub off on me!

I was seeking the village and I found it all around me.  I have been living among villagers without really noticing them.  The world is a good place full of good people.  We just have to be looking for them.  And being them.