Time For Fun

Time is a precious commodity. When we find a little extra (or more often, dump everything off the calendar) I just want to sigh and savor each bit of it. It's usually gone in such a flash that it only shows it's full value in retrospect. 

Matt and Mary are kindred spirits where music is concerned. They don't just listen. It's not just something for the background. They absorb it. They immerse themselves. Here they are listening to music on Matt's phone. 

And here are the rest of the nuts. 

New Christmas

Utah is having a very snowy December. My favorite kind. My birthday is in December so all the most exciting things for me growing up happened between the end of November and New Years Day. Thanksgiving meant lots of family. Loud and crazy were the defaults. Then loads if Christmas decorations would go up. My birthday was always trimmed with red and green and twinkly lights. Choir Christmas concerts, press cookies and Swedish jam sticks for all the neighbors, manneheim steamroller 24/7 (in spite of all the bratty complaining from us children - I'm glad my mom listened to the music she liked in spite of it and hope we didn't diminish her enjoyment of it too much), taking plates to the neighbors. And cold, snowy weather. Ice and snow. My love for it is undoubtedly linked to it's presence during this time of year. 

The holidays look different to me now. I am seeing them with the eyes of adulthood. There is less magic now. And the markers of the season that sent that thrill through me  when I was growing up are gone. It's hard for me to feel in the Christmas mood when it doesn't feel like Christmas. We have been enjoying 60 degree weather and rain for a week. The rowdy family gatherings are a thing of the past. Now it is the (comparatively) quiet celebrations with just our children that mark the passage of each holiday. No choir concerts. No manneheim steamroller (though that one's by choice). We do have cookies. 

But, this isn't my Christmas. This is what Christmas will always mean to my children. Playing board games with their siblings. Watching White Christmas and Muppets Christmas Carol. Telling stories about the houses and people in our Christmas Village. Spending the entire day opening presents since we're not on a schedule. The unpredictability of North Carolina winters (will it snow or should we break out the sandals?  No one knows!). 

And the common thread through out. Through all of the traditions is a babe in Bethlehem. The magic of the season really does come from the love we feel for and from our Heavenly Father. Cutting through all the other stuff, you find love. Love that finds joy in our joy. Love that comforts us when life throws us curve balls. Love that is there literally through rain or shine or snow. Love that transcends tradition and just is. So, Merry Christmas, however we celebrate. I hope each of us will feel the savior's love. 

Christmas Sunday

I'm a pretty casual person, but every so often it's fun to dress for a special occasion. I love my sweet kids. And poor Kate was not happy about the photo shoot. 

And here is Emily modeling the dress I made. Not too shabby and quite a learning experience. 

Oh the a Weather Outside Is...Delightful

I love winter, and wish we had snow more than one skiff per year, but there is something to be said for 60 degree weather a week before Christmas. After school, the kids went out to ride bikes and Kate had her very first stroller ride. How strange that she is five months old and had never ridden in a stroller. The wrap in many ways is much more convenient. I think her siblings were much more excited about her inaugural ride than she was. But at least she didn't scream the whole time like Ben did. 

And, the following pictures are how the girls entertained themselves during Matt's meeting on Sunday. Selfies and sibling shots. 

Love Christmas!

Why is a bright green tree covered in bright lights so magical?  I don't know, but I love it. Christmas is so wonderful!

Foodie

We love the Food network in our house. But perhaps we watch it too much. Joe critiques dinner every night (in a respectful way) and asks for things like berry compote with his pancakes. I'm great with that because I love baking and enjoy cooking. For his birthday cake he wanted mint chocolate cake with a dark chocolate ganache. It turned well, and was soooo yummy! It tastes like thin mints. Yum yum yum yum yum!

I cheated and used a box chocolate cake because, darn it, I'm tired! I added a bag of Andes mint pieces to the batter and baked it in two 9" rounds. For the center frosting, I brought whipping cream to a boil then removed it from the heat and added crushed mint leaves, covered it and let it sit for awhile. Then I added it and green food coloring to powdered sugar until I got a good consistency. For the ganache I took some of the mint infused cream and brought it almost up to a boil again then poured it on bittersweet chocolate chips that I had poured into a glass bowl. I whisked them together then poured it over the top of the cake. Easy and so delicious. 

Great idea, Joe. 

Holey

We hadn't been to the ER for awhile. That should have been an indicator. We were due. Even when Joe came to my room I didn't think it was that big a deal, then he showed me. 

I could tell he was trying to keep it together. He said, "Mom, Ben pushed me off my bed and my ear really hurts. Is it bleeding?"  I had my typical - it's not that bad so just buck up - mind set. Then he showed me his ear. The cut was an inch long a couple centimeters wide and so deep it almost went through his ear. 

"Is it bleeding?"  He asked again, more than a hint of panic in his voice. I said it was bleeding, but it was ok. I got a tissue and quietly asked Em to go get Matt - the expert on all things medical. Matt does not do blood. Really. He took one quick look then looked away and said, "Yeah. He needs stitches."

"Stitches" is a scary word for kids. Joe was a champ though. He fought back the panic and then said, "Hey, mom!  I'm Fred Weasley!  I'm holey! Ah ha ha!"

After 5(!!!!) hours at the urgent care office, we are home with Joe's ear all stitched up. Happy birthday to Joe!  At least it wasn't on his birthday. Just the day before. 

And he's excited to explore the "whole world of ear related humor."

Good morning!

Someone slept hard!  Good morning, Sunshine! Love the hair. 

The New Normal

Today we are at the science center. 

It's been rough the last few weeks with school. Kids have been sick and I have been feeling a little frustrated and a lot overwhelmed. This isn't how homeschool was supposed to be. I was supposed to magically become an uber organized and crafty super mom. But I'm still just me. I decided to take a week off to regroup and evaluate. The result was that I'm feeling much better and I have yet another strategy. So far, so good and here we are at the science center for a no-stress school day. 

Three different homeschooling moms told me to be patient and give me and the kids a year to get out of the public school mode and relearn how to learn. I didn't believe them. There were good habits from school that I wanted to keep, weren't there? And my kids love learning, it couldn't possibly take that long for them to get used to this. 

They were right. 

Especially with a child like Mary who is very task oriented. She wants to know the specific expectations and then do them. Finding just the right way to implement my educational philosophies with her needs has taken time. But we have already reaped so many benefits. 

Mary is starting to read without anxiety. She wrote in her journal last night without flipping out about making a mistake with her letters. She and Will have a much closer relationship than they did. Mary and I have a closer relationship than we ever have. (Well maybe for the last few years or so at least). Mary is so much more confident than she was two months ago. And she is little by little taking the lead in her education. 

There are still a lot of hold-overs. For instance, yesterday we were making gingerbread men to celebrate Christmas the Danish way (in honor of Hans Christian Andersen -after seeing and LOVING Frozen over the weekend). It was also part of our math for the day. Halfway through the ingredients, Mary glowered at me and said, "Hey! This is like math!" Later we talked about why we learn math. She said it was so we could move up to a higher level (thank you NCLB and common core testing).  I said we need math for lots of things, like baking for instance.  

I'm slowly muddling my way through, hoping I'm not messing things up. It's so much easier when they're tiny and dependent on you for everything!!

Ben took this selfie with my phone. 

Peace!

After two weeks of fitful sleeping, and almost nonstop crying since last Friday, this is a wonderful, wonderful sight. Now if only the other children were asleep so I could join the slumber party. Well, at least she is sleeping. 

Joyful Noise

 

 

Quiet.

 

With six kids under eleven, it is a rarity. We all have this need to be heard.  (Except Matt who just looks at the chaos with patient exasperation.)  There's so much talking in our house that its amazing we don't exhaust the oxygen supply and all pass out.  Even during peaceful moments there is noise. Someone humming. Little giggles. Tapping pencils or crayons.  Dragons roaring and supermen swooshing. 

Some times the noise is downright overwhelming.  A few mornings ago, I bounced Kate, vainly trying to soothe her, while breaking up the wrestling/biting match Ben and Will were having that predictably dissolved into both boys screaming - each sure he was the victim.  About halfway through this fiasco, Mary had stomped off after not being able to concentrate on reading during the madness.  It was so over the top that I just started laughing - undoubtedly sounding a bit unhinged. 

But those times always give in to kid-quiet eventually.  One of the older children reading to a younger sibling.  Quietly drawing as we read The Christmas Carol as a family.  Snuggling with Kate or assembling a puzzle.

 I'm grateful for the noise at my house.  Sometimes it drives me a little nuts, but I just need to remember what it means.  My house, and arms, and life are full.

Exactly!

At the adult session of stake conference last night, the mission president said something very interesting. "When our missionaries are obedient they are blessed. When our missionaries are exactly obedient they see miracles."

I tend to be a little haphazard in everything I do. That's due in large part to the fact that I am very impulsive. But occasionally I catch a glimpse of what Heavenly Father sees for me. What could my life be like if I was more exact?  What miracles could I see?

I am making Emily's Christmas dress this year. I bought the fabric and cut it out and am in the process (meaning I sewed one seam and have thought about it a lot) of sewing it. The fabrics pucker and unravel and this could be a complete disaster. I'm not quite sure what I was thinking buying such difficult fabric. Actually, I know exactly what I was thinking. I was looking at the end product. If I can pull it off it will be a beautiful dress. But I am not an expert seamstress. I'm not even a proficient seamstress. I can follow a pattern and operate a sewing machine. I'm just hoping that if I execute every task with exactness the end product will be everything I am envisioning. If not I can pull out the trusty seam ripper (hopefully without ruining the delicate fabric).

In my life I feel very much like a novice seamstress. I've selected my pattern and cut out the fabric. Now I'm just sewing one seam at a time, all the while hoping I'm doing things right and not completely messing up the end product. Thank heaven for do-overs. When I do flub up, the atonement is there to remove the botched seam - and sometimes replace an entire panel of ruined fabric. I get overwhelmed thinking of everything I have to do. How can I possibly get everything done at all let alone with exactness?  But then I realize I just need to focus on one seam at a time. Be present with each task and perform it well. 

It just occurred to me that in order perform all the tasks required of me and do so with exactness, I need to make sure I'm working on the right seam. And the right dress for that matter. If I'm not, what does it matter?

I have a lot of work to do. But, hopefully as I move forward, my efforts to be exact will show in the finished product of my life and it will be more beautiful than I could have done otherwise. 

Here's a story about exactness from the Book of Mormon

Here's a wonderful article about exactness

Snow!

                                   Snow! Snow!

                       Snow.              Snow!

           Snow.                          Snow!

"Snow.                                    Snow!

It won't be long before we'll all be there with snow."

I'm not sure where the magic comes from, but whenever I see those little white fluffs falling from the sky, excitement bubbles over.  I love watching them in the glow from street lamps and the slow accumulation that turns the world white. We won't get that much tonight, but after living here for 7 years I'm not too picky. Even seeing a few fat flakes is reason for celebration. 

Viruses Don't Care

We had a fun week planned. Mary was going to start swimming lessons at the YMCA, Joe had his big semiannual 5k race for school (that incidentally we had already paid our non-refundable fees for), and Emily was supposed to sing in sacrament meeting (she was very excited). But our little visiting virus didn't care. He insisted that we clear our schedules and pay attention to him. 

With fevers over 103.5, an incubation of 3-5 days and being contagious for about a week after the fever starts, we have dutifully cleared our schedules, one kid at a time.

One nice thing about everyone except Mary and Kate getting this virus one right after another is that we will be sending Mr. Virus packing soon. 

More on Free Range

 My friend just shared this NYtimes article.  It address the over-parenting topic from a more professional stand point.  It validates my opinion on one hand, and causes me to reassess my parenting on the other.  It's an interesting read.

Free Range Parenting

Want to know how to completely freak people out?  Go to a park with a bunch of kids (preferably your own) and just let them loose on the playground. Make them work out their own (non violent) skirmishes. Let them get a little dirty and don't freak out if they skin a knee. 

My friend Shannon has such a dry sense of humor. Her sarcasm cracks me up. She always used to say that we were "free range" parents, kind of the anti-helicopter parent.

Just a quick disclaimer. I am NOT a parenting expert. After more than a decade at this parenting thing there are a few things I know, a lot of things I know but undoubtedly will find out are false, and a lot of things that I know I don't know. There are about as many correct philosophies in parenting as there are children. Having said that, here is a funny interaction I had the other day with Emily's teacher. 

Emily is very dramatic. I love this about her (most of the time). At school they have what is called a "peace area" where the children go to resolve conflict. They sit at this table and one child tells the other what she is upset about and then they proceed to resolve their differences -theoretically. Evidently, Emily has been taking friends there three or four times a day without resolving their issues. Her teacher emailed me to let me know what was going on and asked if I would be alright if Emily participated in a "friendship" group with the school counsellor where they could talk about how to be good friends and how to resolve conflict. 

My personal feelings toward the school counsellor aside (that's a story for another day) the group sounded a little silly. And the group would (Em's teacher assured me) not conflict with school work or recess. No, it would be during lunch. I said "No" very firmly. 

Here's just a thought. If we let our kids go and have free time - I mean real free time, no laps during their recesses that only happen at most four times a week or silent/working lunches (I mean, what the heck!) but real, honest to goodness free time- don't you think they would figure this stuff out? At recess you figure out how to resolve conflict. You figure out how to navigate the perilous waters of female social interaction and how to let go of things that aren't important because they interfere with something you want to do. Who wouldn't want to stop their schoolwork to go talk to someone at the peace table?  Anyone who has spent an hour trying to coerce kids into working understands the true masters they are at avoiding work at almost any cost. And Emily is the most accomplished master at work avoidance that I have ever seen. 

Some things can't be left in the hands of children, but I contend that a far greater number of things can be than we allow. Kids don't learn well while being micromanaged. I don't either. You need to teach correct principles and then let them go. Let them skin knees, get into little tussles with friends that they have to figure out. And for heaven's sake let them learn to entertain themselves. They need to not need you. 

As scary as that thought is.