Here's to Hope!

Christmas Eve was a little rocky at our house. Try reading the Christmas story with pouty and fighting elementary schoolers, an energizer bunny three year old, a screaming one year old, and frazzled parents. We were just about to throw the towel in, when Matt stopped reading and I paused. Frustration and disappointment, frozen inside my chest, started giving way to the warmth of peace. I felt hopeful, peaceful words come into my mind. "Do you know what the best part of Christmas is?" I asked the kids. For once, I had everyone's undivided attention. "Because Jesus was born, He was able to live and die for us. Because of Christ, we get do-overs. I'm so grateful for do-overs!" I asked the kids if they would like a do-over of our Christmas Eve pageant. They answered, "Yes!" Kate still fussed, but the spirit of the Christ child and the story of His birth filled the rest of us. 

There is no more hopeful time of year for me than New Year. A bright, pristine year lies before me, full of new experiences and opportunities!  All the ways I didn't quite measure up can be assessed and then put away. I get a new year full of new chances, full of do-overs. Fresh starts are such a blessing! Happy New Year, and may it be full of joy and peace!!

My Joe is twelve! Twelve is a big age in the Church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.  Last Sunday, he was ordained to the Aaronic priesthood.  I am constantly amazed by this boy.  He is wise beyond his years.  He is kind and conscientious and takes his responsibilities very seriously.  He cares about people.  If you are his friend, you are friends for life.  He is thoughtful.  Words can't really quantify what he is.  It is an honor to be his mother.  I just hope I can get out of the way enough to not mess him up!

Music Soothes the Savage Breast

We kinda like music in our house...A lot! But each of us expresses that love in different ways. Joe likes to play the piano, Emily has a beat in her bones and is always moving (and I mean always; it's only been in the last year that we could get her to sit down to eat), Will - I haven't figured out yet, and Ben and Kate love to dance and sing so far (though with Kate's long and elegant fingers, I'm holding out hope for another pianist). But, for Mary it's different. Mary has music in her core. She needs music like she needs to breathe. Whenever she feels out of sorts or overwhelmed, she puts on headphones and everything is right again in the world. This morning, she had a fight with Emily as they were cleaning their room. She came downstairs, announced tersely that she needed fresh air, and walked out into the drizzly backyard alone. I peeked out five minutes later and she was wandering aimlessly and singing her heart out. I wish I could have heard it, but just peeking was risky - she spooks easily. A few minutes later, she came inside, ready for a redo. Mary reminds me of a Celtic fairy tale creature. As soon as you feel like you know what it is, it changes form. Magical and beautiful but impossible to anchor.

What Do You Seek

When I was a child, Christmas was magical.  I have distinct memories of traditions; decorating the tree, dressing up with cousins to act out the nativity, Swedish jam sticks, stollen, and cookie press cookies.  But it was bigger than any specific tradition.  There was just an excitement.  I felt alive and joyous and full of anticipation.  Granted, a lot of that was the excitement of presents and goodies, but it was more than that.  At Christmas time, it was okay to overtly focus on the Savior.  We could talk of him, read of him, display images of him and rejoice and sing of him.  Focusing on the Savior helps us tap into that joy. 

Last Thursday, the sweet sister missionaries ate at our house and then shared this video.

 I know it's been on facebook a hundred times since Thanksgiving, but I hadn't found a good time to watch - I wanted to watch it with all the kids.  After the video, Sister Meads asked how we are going to seek the gift this Christmas season.  I pondered that for a few days.  In December, it is hard to control your schedule.  It is hard to simplify and take stuff off of your to do list.  As a mom, there is a base level of stuff that needs to happen in December.  But, there is one thing I can absolutely control.  The most important thing.  I made a commitment to let everything I did for Christmas be done with a heart that is seeking the gift.  Am I leaving others with light?  Am I letting His light into my heart?  Allowing the joy that He brings into my life and trying to let all the errands be more than errands but another opportunity to feel the joy and anticipation of Christmas will lead me where I want to go.  I've been about fifty percent successful, but I'm trying! As I seek the Christ child, I will be able to find him, no matter what roads I am required to take during the course of this month and my life.  You can't find what you aren't seeking.  This month, I am choosing to seek The Gift.

Happy Birthday to Me! (A week early)

I am obscenely excited about my birthday/Christmas present Matt have me. I love to bake. It's one of my favorite things. My way of showing love to someone is to bake them something yummy. I have a really hard time with diabetics because I honestly don't know what to do for them. Isn't that silly. So, Matt is the hero this year (well, ok, every year but this is the reason this year). Can't wait to fire it up tomorrow!