Make 'Em Laugh

I am finally reading "Emotional Intelligence" by Daniel Goleman.  Matt read it a few years ago, and the thoughts he shared with me are great.  Now that I'm reading it myself, I like it even more.  Love! Love!  Love!

In the chapter, Master Aptitude it discusses the important role that optimism and hope play in success.  It is, according to several cited studies, a better predictor of academic success than test scores and prior grades.  It makes absolute sense, doesn't it? 

One of the natural fruits of optimism and hope is laughter.  When you have hope and optimism, you are usually happy.

"Laughing, like elation, seems to help people think more broadly and associate more freely, noticing relationships that might have eluded them previously."

That just clicked with me.  Happiness is light.  Laughter is light.  Lightness helps us see things clearly and what, in the darkness of anxiety or depression or stubborness, seemed an unsolvable problem is suddenly possible. 

I saw this in action this afternoon.  I was in a head on conflict with my dear daughter.  Suddenly something made us laugh.  The distraction, the mood boosting chemicals, and (apparently) the mind-clearing mood changer, were just what we needed.  I was kinder and my daughter was much more willing to do what I was asking.

So, my advice for today?

Laugh!  It'll make you wiser.

Big Will

Will had a birthday, shout "hooray!"  I love Will.  He is my favorite boy ever!  Well...Joe and Ben both give him stiff competition.  But, I sure do love him.  Some of my favorite things about Will right now: 
He absolutely adores Ben.  Whenever Will is lying on the floor, Ben crawls over and tackles him and they "wrestle" and squeal.  Will calls him "My Benny." 
He is also starting to speak in complete sentences, but he emphasizes each word.  "Yes.she.is." 
He isn't without crankiness.  In fact, Will can be the king of crankiness.  When he gets really mad, or if I'm disciplining him, he says - with a big pouty frown - "Leaving me a-LONE!"  Not "leave," "leav-ing".  It cracks me up.
Last night, he came over to where I was holding Ben and gave me a hug and then kissed me twice on the cheek.  Then he pointed to his cheek and said, "There's your heart.  Right there."  He then turned to Mary and laughed and said, "I gave mom two hearts."  I have never heard of kisses being called "hearts."   Will sure melts mine.

Poetry

I love children's literature.  I love how nothing is impossible.  I love how earnest it is (the good stuff at least).  I love that, for the most part, no one feels the need to add garbage to it to make it "more relevant" or "edgier".  I don't need edgy.  Truth speaks quite loudly enough in the purity and innocence we usually associate with children.
At the library the other day, I found the Random House Boo,k of Poetry for Children selected by Jack Prelutsky.  I was worried that it would have the worthless, silly drivel that has become poetry, but I was pleasantly surprised.  It has real poems that actually mean something. It has beautiful language and poets who understand what that is and that words, when in the hands of a master, can be magic.  It was created by people who understand that you don't need to talk down to children and that good poetry is good poetry.  I am going to find my own copy since there is no way we will be able to relish all of the 572 poems in three weeks or even this summer, for that matter.  There's a reason the classics are the classics.

Summer Schedule

I don't like schedules.  Actually, I DO like schedules in theory, but have a hard time not rebelling against them (even the ones I make up for myself).  This summer, I set a schedule for myself and the kids since we aren't going anywhere big.  I am actually sticking to it...sort of (more on that in a minute).  We have an odd wall in our Great room right next to the sink.  It is skinny and juts out.  I couldn't think of what to do with it (I never liked the way anything looked that I tried hanging there).  So a couple of months ago, I got a little crazy and painted the whole thing with chalkboard paint.  It was really dark.  REALLY dark.  but, when I wrote on it, it lightened it up, and I REALLY like it.  It may not be a big selling point when we put our house up for sale, but I like it!  Every morning I write the days schedule on the board and we go over it with the kids.  This makes them more helpful during the day, and makes all of us accountable (most especially myself).  Also, the great thing about putting it up every morningn is, when things come up I can add that to the schedule. So.  It will hopefully stave off summer boredom and fighting, and help us accomplish something meaningful as well. 

Have you ever noticed that once you set a new goal, the entire universe works together to undermine your efforts?  Maybe it's just me.  I set up this new summer schedule and some goals for myself wrapped into that and, wouldn't you know, the day before I was going to implement it, Ben got sick (fever of 103 that lasted until yesterda) so I wasn't sleeping and was super exhausted.  I'm not complaining.  It just made it harder to do that schedule.  But on the flip side, the schedule made it easier to not sit there on my couch all day, staring cross-eyed at nothing.  Ben slept last night!  And this morning, I guess I figured life would be too boring with a full night's sleep, healthy kids and no conflicts ahead...so, this morning, I stumbled bleary eyed into the bathroom, and decided to drop an iron on my toe.  If I had tried to plan away to more effeciently and affectively break my toe, I don't think I could have.  I accidentally knocked it off the counter as I was washing my hands, and the point fell straight down on the joint of my middle toe.  I don't typically swear, but I sure felt like it! So, today I'm trying to keep the house running from a command post.  I can hobble around, but I can't stay on my feet for very long.  sigh.
So, the schedule sabotage continues.  I will conquer!

Division of Labor

When Ben is in a playful mood, he babbles, "Dadadada"
When he is hurt or upset or tired or cranky, he says, "Mamamam."
Always.  No exceptions.
I suppose that's how it goes.

Summer Job

I got a summer job!  Emily opened a store in her bedroom, and told me that I had an interview.  She moved her cupboard (it's about two feet high) to angle the corner and put a chair behind.  She shuffled her papers and asked me to sit down and said that she had three questions for me. 
"What is your name?"
"What is your favorite color?"
"Are you ready?"
I apparently answered appropriately to all of the questions, because she said I was hired.  I will be in charge of showing the customers where everything is.  If I don't know then I need to ask her.