Happiness

I was reading a silly magazine the other day, and they had an article on how to be happy. They had four or five things that "determine" happiness. As I was reading, Mary climbed onto my lap (or what's left of it) and snuggled in. She looked up into my face with a big smile and then snuggled in again. I thought, I don't need a silly magazine to explain happiness to me. This right here is a little ray of happiness waiting for me to see it. All I need to do is notice it and let it warm up my life. I realized that sometimes I get so caught up in my to do list or in the stresses of my day that those things become a deflector shield to the rays of happiness that shine all around me. I'm going to do a better job of letting those moments in and allowing myself to be more completely happy.

More Wildlife

This afternoon, the girls were playing in the backyard when Emily ran in the house screaming for me. I asked what was wrong and she said she had found a dead snake by our back fence. We periodically get garter snakes in the yard, so I wasn't overly concerned. I told her to just stay away from it and dad would take care of it when he got home.

When Matt investigated, he saw that the snake was indeed dead, but it wasn't a garter snake. It was a four foot long copperhead! It had gotten tangled in a net we hadn't set up yet. It makes me want to run up to Emily's room right now and give her a huge hug even though she's asleep. The kids won't be playing in the backyard anymore without an inspection by mom or dad first.

More Emily'isms from Matt

I know there are a disproportionate number of quotes and stories on here about Emily, but her brain works in such a different way that it always surprises me. My hope is that by writing them down, one day we'll be able to read through all of them and get a general idea on what is going on in her head.

One of the oddest things is when she gets up at night to go to the bathroom. She barely wakes up and is so disoriented that she just cries and does weird stuff. Last night was a perfect example. Cathy and I had barely started a movie for our in home date when we heard Emily crying. I ran up there knowing that she probably needed to go to the bathroom. When I got upstairs she was just leaving our room and stumbling back to her room. I tried to get her attention but she just kept walking all the way to her room. Even though I kept calling her name (to which she would just shake her head) she proceeded to pull two pairs of pants out of her drawer, shove them under her blankets and stuffed animals and then started to crawl back in bed, whimpering the entire time. When I asked if she had to go to the bathroom she nodded so I took her to the bathroom. When she was done she went straight back to bed and went to sleep.

Also, yesterday she told Cathy that she loved her and Cathy said she loved her more. Emily one-upped that with that she loved her hundred more (or whatever big number it was). Cathy, thinking to get the top bid quickly went with saying that she loved Emily an infinity. Little did she know there was something bigger. Emily countered with "I love you 180 chickens."

Divine Role of Mothers

Earlier this week, my friend sent me a link to this Mormon Times article. Perhaps I connected to it because I am in almost the exact place as the author in the story she describes, but I thought her point was quite profound. I've been feeling the judgment of the world a lot lately for continuing to grow our family. I have a firm testimony in my role as a mother, and I am glad and grateful to fulfill it, but it is really nice to be bolster a little from other people and most importantly from the spirit reaffirming how critical and divine that role really is.

Essentially Affective

This morning, as we were headed out the door to take Joe to school, I felt a migraine coming on and could tell it was going to be a whopper. With the number of migraines I have been getting this pregnancy, I didn't want to have caffeinated soda and tylenol like I always do during pregnancy, and I can't take ibuprofen. I could ask my doctor for a prescription cocktail, but I'm just not a big fan of that. I tried one prescription when I was pregnant with Emily, but it only worked for a few migraines before it was completely worthless.

My mother in law, a homeopathic remedies maven, said she had heard of a mix of essential oils that you rub on the back of your neck and (if it's a particularly bad one) your temples at the first sign of a migraine. She sent me some and I decided to try it.

I'm fairly impressed with the results. Like I said, it was revving up to be a bad migraine, and I was wearing contacts for a full 30 minutes of the migraine before I got the chance to remove them (to non migraine sufferers, contacts are guaranteed to make migraines much much worse). I put the medicine on, and within 45 minutes, I had cycled through all of my initial symptoms, and within 2 hours, my head was completely clear and I was ready to do whatever I needed to do. The headache never got intense and all the initial symptoms were relatively mild. For the migraine it was going to be, I am actually shocked that it completely cleared up in 2 hours - without a nap! It may not work for every migraine, but if it works for even half, that will be wonderful!

Puppy Update

I posted earlier that Emily named her puppy Flowers Petunia Hicken. Well, she decided that it needed a nickname, so she came up with "Caully". Today after church, she told Matt, that now her full name was "Caully Flowers Petunia Hicken." Matt said, "Caully Flowers?" "Yup. Caully Flowers."

A Dying Institution

I just read an article by Keith Ablow (mistake number one) entitled "Cameron Diaz is right: 4 Reasons why marriage is a dying institution." (mistake number two - since when was Cameron Diaz ever right about social issues?)

I was surprised by his tone. Not only did he say that marriage is dying, but he insinuated that it should be. He said it was damaging to people and caused depression and stress in 90% of people. First, that figure came from his experience speaking with people through his profession as a psychiatrist. Um...skewed study group?

His conclusion was that it is nearly impossible to stay attracted to someone you live with for an extended period of time. And even further, no one even likes living with the same person for a long time. You get sick of them. Roommates, siblings, and yes spouses. "Marriage doesn't work" was the underlying mantra of the entire piece.

How tragic to hold such a cynical view of things. He spoke of the inherent need to be "chosen" every day and you just can't have that in a long term marriage. Maybe I'm naive, but I feel like you can. No, you don't have that heart pumping thrill of new love, but you have the peace and comfort and joy of knowing that the person who chose you when you were young and vibrant and "perfect" still wants you now that he knows what lies within all your dark closets. You just have to look for the ways they are "choosing" you every day. Opening the car door, or helping the kids clean their room, or doing the laundry (even though that's typically your responsibility in the divvying of the housework). It's the hug even when you're both so stressed that you feel like you're about to crack. Carrying those burdens together as a team.

The articles biggest flaw, I think, is perspective. If I wanted to be a champion NBA player, I wouldn't look to someone who dropped out in their first season of high school ball, or the coach of the worst team in the NBA. They either can't see the goal, don't know how to achieve it, don't have the tools, or don't care enough. I would find the players who have made it work. The ones who know how to achieve that goal and have actually achieved it. So, sorry Dr. Ablow, I completely disagree.

The Sky Is Falling!!

Okay, just the roof. I noticed a discolored spot on Emily's ceiling last week and then after an over night rain storm, noticed that it had grown. I looked in her closet and the drywall on the ceiling of her closet was sagging! We have a definite leak. Thankfully it's not the water heater. In one of the big wind storms, we noticed some roof shingles in the backyard and I thought "Uh -oh. Someone's missing some shingles." I blame the lack of connection on the pregnancy brain. WE are the ones missing shingles. Duh. So, today we are fixing a roof. And redrywalling the ceiling in portions of Emily and Mary's rooms. The joys of home ownership.

And, actually, I really am so grateful that we have a home to be "bothered" with. We have plenty of space and warmth and a huge yard that is slowly becoming what we want it to be. I'm grateful for a beautiful home for my children to grow and play and feel safe in. We are so very blessed.