Checking the Frame

 (Mary took these) 

Perspective is an interesting thing.  I posted pictures of Ben conducting at the zoo.  The funny thing is that all I saw when I was taking the picture was my two year old being uber cute.  It wasn't until I looked at the pictures and remembered what he was doing that I realized that he was conducting music and not just waving his arms in strange patterns.

The next day at church, I was people watching.  I saw an adorable little girl being held by her grandma.  The childish excitement on the face of the baby and the love-filled joy of the grandmother were beautiful.  It was a perfect frame.  I also saw a young mother trying to cajole her eighteen month old away from rolling around in the aisle.  He had such a sweet smile on his face.  She handled it like a champ.  I saw relationships, old and new.  I saw some faces lined with sadness.  I saw things that I usually miss when I'm not really paying attention.  It was rich and full-color and poignant.

Last week, on the return trip from dropping Matt off at work, my car started billowing smoke and the check engine light start beeping repeatedly.  Um...not good.  Will was the only walking child that didn't bring shoes and everyone was clean and dressed  (a small miracle if you have witnessed us getting out of the house in the morning).  We had a jogging stroller in the back even though my intention had been to return it to my friend last week.  We broke down close to a scenic byway and a gas station.  Well, not right next to a gas station.  It was about a quarter of a mile walk along the scenic byway.  So many little blessings that helped me see that if Heavenly Father is aware of the details, he surely has the big stuff in hand.

Inevitably, Mary started complaining.  Her friend was supposed to come play this morning.  We were missing it big time.  Then we saw an awesome tree that would be a perfect tree house tree.  Just another giant tree in the forest around town, but walking had given us the opportunity to actually, truly notice it. The tree reminded me of The Swiss Family Robinson.  I told Mary about them and we talked about making the most of a bad situation.  It was such a great moment.  Framed and poignant.

We looked at a stream as we crossed over it.  We had never noticed it before.  We have driven by it at least twice a day for years.  It was pretty and interesting and rich in life.  We noticed the sidewalks that were made with bigger stones.  It reminded me of the sidewalks in Provo, where I spent my elementary school years hop-scotching and chasing sticks down gutters.  It's always interesting to me what you see when you have a change in perspective.  When you see something close up, at a slow pace it takes on not just more detail, but more color and meaning.  There's so much more to find than when we speed by. 



I wonder how many things I miss because I am speeding through life.  What beauty and richness and blessings and poignancy and life could I experience if I just took time to put things in the proper close-up frame?

Another Paycheck

Love the zoo!

 Joe is taking a flamingo nap.

Ben was conducting some as-of-yet unheard symphony.  It was serious business.  Later he was singing a song and when I asked what it was, he pointed to the trees and said it was the birds' song.

           

Paychecks

Piano recitals, mother breakfasts, adorable (at least to me) children, fun learning moments, proof that they occasionally clean caught on camera.  It's a good life.

How sweet is this.  He wanted to help while Matt was putting the boys to bed and I was out.  She woke up and he just jumped in.  Love him.

 Psalm 127:3-5 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.

Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: 

I Made the Cut!

Will is planning a dinosaur party. He explained all the details to me. I said he could have this dinosaur party for his birthday party next month. He thought for a minute and then said, "Yep. And I'll invite James, and Scott...and you. Because, I like you."  So sweet. He's such a special boy. And not just because he butters me up!

A Family Day

Motherhood is not what I thought it would be.  In fact, I'm not sure what I thought it would be, but I think there were a lot of super cute baby clothes, and carefree days at the park.

 

 

 

 Well, there have been a lot of super cute baby clothes.  And there have been a lot of carefree days at the park.  But those are the side notes.  The accent notes in the motherhood cantata.  I never fully fathomed how heart-wrenchingly humbling it would be to be a "mom".  You are everything to someone.  Their little world is dependent on you!  They look at you with so much trust and adoration.  I have traveled day by day.  Note by note.  I have hit far more than my share of sour notes.  I only hope I have hit enough of the right ones for the song to be recognizable.  Some days I think I've done alright.  Others I'm quite certain I have failed. 

Luckily, Motherhood isn't difficult or rewarding because of the things that I have accomplished or failed at.  It's not a list of requirements.  It is life.  It is losing yourself and finding yourself all in one moment.  Not just one moment.  Years and years of moments.  Years of learning and failing and proceeding and being set back.  It's a journey.  And it's a journey that changes as soon as you get accustomed to the terrain.  And it's a journey with the most wonderful, irksome, clever, irrational, intuitive companions you could find.  Really, motherhood is about them  So, this Mothers' Day, I'm grateful for my children and the amazing journey we are taking together.